Hold My Heart
by comeagainlou
Summary: And now she had grown to wish she could go back and do it over, because right now her heart was killing her, all because of how much of a coward she was. And the look on his face haunting her dreams every night didn't make it any easier either. AlicexHatter, a sad oneshot.


_I never meant to be the one to let you down_

_If anything, I thought I saw myself going first_

_I didn't know how to stick around_

_How to see anybody but me be getting hurt_

Of course she had wanted to stay. That's all she's ever wanted.

But the thought of staying, staying there with him, and him not knowing, was already killing her on the inside.

Of course she could tell him, but the mere idea of him saying no, was too much to bear and so she left. Because she was a coward.

She was heartbroken about it, but the look in his eyes when she had drank the last drop, was worse, it was not just breaking her heart, it was completely shattering it. She had hurt him, and she had left him.

Coward.

_I keep remembering the summer night_

_And the conversation breaking up the mood_

_I didn't want to tell you you were right_

_Like the season changing, oh, I felt it too_

And now as she sat here surrounded by people, she had never felt more alone.

She should have listened to him, he had always been right, right from the start, she didn't belong here, she never had. And as time went by, she was pulled more and more apart.

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_

_How to hold my heart?_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon_

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_

_How to hold my heart_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you_

Her heart hurt so bad, it was crying and screaming out of pain, and it was killing her, but she had been too much of a coward to give it what it really wanted, in fear of not actually getting what she wanted. Because then she would have no heart at all. Wasn't it better to feel pain, than feel nothing at all? Right now she liked the second option better.

She had been so sure.

But she had grown to wish for a second chance to do it over, because what hurt worse than the look on his face, the same look that haunted her dreams every night, more than the hole in her heart…

Was the constant battle in her mind… Then constant question.

What if?

_I'm not the kind to try to tell you lies_

_But the truth is you've been hiding from it too_

_I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes_

_Saying everything no words could ever do_

She had lied to him before the goodbye. But it seemed as a better way of saying that she had undone business to attend so therefore she couldn't stay, than to confess of how much of coward she was. But she knew she had been lying too, but for what, she couldn't tell. Somewhere in her mind she had an idea, a crazy, mad idea. But it was mad and it was foolish.

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_

_How to hold my heart?_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon_

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_

_How to hold my heart_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you_

_Is anybody listening?_

_'Cause I'm crying_

_Is anybody listening?_

She should have told him, she should have just taken the fall, because she rather have a few broken bones than a shattering heart.

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_

_How to hold my heart?_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon_

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_

_How to hold my heart_

_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you_

More than ever she wished for a second chance to do it over, but what was done was done and now she was paying the price.

Because in truth, she should never have let go.

**Feels like yeeeears since I've last posted! I'm still madly in love with this pair, they are absolutely adorable. The basic reason for my sudden return to writing, is the fact that there is a sequel in the works! WOOOO! Of how I hope that they will change the ending and bring her back, they are clearly in love! Why on earth did they have to change the script?! (If you didn't know, in the original script Tim Burton wrote, the mad hatter was supposed to kiss Alice after his futterwacken) **

**But it's not Tim Burton this time, but I have faith in the new director to do a good job. And most of the cast is returning! Yay! **

**Also I just adore this song, it is absolutely beautiful. Sare Bareilles - Hold my heart. **

**Anyway, I wish you all a good day :) **


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